Is This A good Halloween Story?

Halloweentown was busy this time of year. They were setting up for the biggest Holiday of the year, Halloween. The town cleaners polished the town Jack o’ Lantern and shop owners were setting there best items for sale in the shop windows. The witches got ready to make batches of the there best potions to hand out to dinner guests, goblins and goblets began to carve jack o’ lanterns to light on the front steps to there Haunted houses. Vampires brushed there red velvet capes off and the were wolves prepared their best howls to the moon. Every thing was perfect and ready but behind all the happiness was a very evil person ready to ruin the holiday for everyone forever. The person the most excited was Maggie the head witch. She was 489 years old and had two mortal granddaughters, Sophie and Ally. Both were witches themselves but lived in San Jose California with there mother to live a normal life. But every year they visited there grandmother for Halloween since, they loved all the colors and magic this time of year in Halloweentown. “Good morning Maggie you seem awfully cheerful today.” Maggie gave Gretchen her biggest smile. “Yes I am. It happens my granddaughters are coming for a visit!” She whistled as she walked towards town square. Sophie and Ally would be arriving shortly and she could hardly wait, just than she heard a loud roar. The bus was here! The yellow schools bus burst out of the sky a trail of vibrant colors twirling behind. It slowly came to a stop beside the sidewalk. First the headless mail man, than the troll doll Susie, the giant witch wart Harry and finally Sophie and Ally. “My girls!” Maggie yelled collected each into a monster hug. “It’s so good to see you! Look at you girls, you becoming such beautiful young ladies.” Ally chuckled. “Were happy to see you to grandma, now I’ve been DIEING for some of those Haunting Home made Candy Corn of yours.” Sophie smiled “Yeah!”

“Okay girls now, I’ll need one ghosts drop of sweat, a were wolves piece of clothing, a pumpkin head seed, a Frankenstein stitch, a vampires tooth oh and some honey!” The girls smiled at each other, good old Grandma. “But Grandma,” Sophie asked across of the caldron, “How do we know where and how to get them?” Ally looked curios to. “Oh yes I nearly forgot!” She chuckled and went to the closet across of the kitchen, “Here is my magic book of spells.” She handed it to Ally with great pride. “Wow Gran, this is really cool.” Ally began to gently flip threw the delicate pages. “Yes it was passes down to my by my great, great, great, great, grandmother.” She smiled a sweet kid-like smile and patted the book. “Now you should be off than, there's lots of work to do.” Maggie said waving them off threw the door.

“Okay Soph, come on!” Ally grabbed her hand and the tip-toed into the Dentist Office. The two headed lady was to busy babbling away into the phone and typing on the computer to notice the two crawling past the desk into the Dentist room. “Okay open wide!” The dentist said. Than quickly he pulled the tooth out of put it in a tin beside him. Ally picked it up and tip-toed out. “Okay Soph one down, one to go.” Ally ran her finger down the page, “hmm next is a pumpkin head seed.” The thought for a moment than realized the perfect place. “To the pumpkin patch!” They yelled at the same time. Quickly they whistled to catch a cab. A yellow car screeched at there feet, “At your service!” The driver said. Ally and Sophie looked at each other, this isn’t any ordinary driver, he didn’t have eyes, or skin, he was a Skelton! Either way they needed to get there. Quickly the slid into the brown seats, “We need to go to the Pumpkin Patch.” Ally told the driver he laughed. “Yes ma’am!” He looked back, “You’re Maggie’s granddaughters right?” He asked as he drove quickly. “Yes,” Ally said sliding to one side as he turned a sharp corner. “We are…how did you know?” Sophie was enjoying the ride. “Ah Mag talks about ya’ll for the longest time!” He suddenly stopped. “You’re here!” He parked infront of a small little wooden stand infront of dirt, plain dirt. “Are you sure it looks…bare.” He nodded. “I can wait if you want.” Sophie stepped in. “Yeah please do!” They timidly walked to the field. “Hello?” Ally asked as her words echoed threw the air. “Looks like no ones here.” Than POOF appeared Mr. Pumpkinhead himself. “Hello! What would you like a jack o’ lantern,” He snapped his fingers a pumpkin wit a human face appeared, “Or,” he snapped his fingers an orange light bulb in a pumpkin shape appeared. “A flashy pumpkin,” he snapped his fingers again, “or a original.” A perfect pumpkin appeared. “Actually…” Sophie said. “I want to show you a magic trick.” She went behind him and put a blind fold around his eye slits. “There's a quarter behind you’re…” She plopped off the little circle on his head and pulled out a gooey sticky seed. “HEY!” He yelled feeling his head. “Thanks!” they yelled over there shoulder and ran into the car. Gasping for air Ally said, “To the theater!” They arrived several minutes later to the old fashioned theater. “Thanks bud, if you don’t mind could you wait a little longer…” he laughed, “Not at all.” So they slid out and jogged towards the theater. “Tickets ma’am?” A teenage gremlin asked. Ally snapped her finger behind her back and handed the man two tickets. They tip-toed in the same way they had to the dentist office. The opera was going on, and there in the middle stage was the main charter ready to perform to main scene when the were wolf strips off his clothes. “AHHH!” he screamed, quickly they ran up and snatched a piece off the stage and ran out of the theater. “Got it!” Ally puffed once outside. “Where’s our cab?” Sophie whispered. “Don’t be stupid its right…” she looked right, and left, he was gone. “Hey well we didn’t have to pay, good thing I don’t want to use my magic to get money.” Ally was feeling pretty good until Sophie tugged on Ally’s shirt. “Well…” she whispered slowly. “I…I don’t have the book.” Ally looked as if her eyes popped out of her head. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE THE BOOK!” she shouted. Sophie shrugged. “I though you had it...” Ally took a few frustrated breath than asked through clenched teeth “That book has been around for 5670 years and YOU LOST IT!!” she screamed the last bit. “You didn’t get it either!” She protested. “Right, I know and it couldn’t have held to much information that’s important…it can be replaced.” Sophie nodded. “Right?”

“Here grandma, take a sip of this brew.” Maggie was seated at a wooden rocking chair feeling faint. “I…I don’t know what happened. The skeleton, and the opera, and the pumpkins…” she rambled. “The skeleton?” Maggie asked. “Yeah he drove us.” Sophie piped up. “OH NO!” she groaned. “There's only one skeleton around here, Arnold. Arnold is the dirtiest trickiest most evil of all Halloweentown. His always wanted my book and the dirty rat got it.” She sighed and shook her head. Ally shrugged. “You can get it back, and why does he want it so bad anyways?” she asked. Maggie sighed a loud sigh making Sophie feel terribly guilty. “Because, Arnold isn’t one of us. He was originally a child a LONG LONG time ago, nearly 2000 years ago.” Ally cut in. “When Halloweentown was first invented?”Maggie nodded. “A evil man had put a spell on Arnie. Turned him into his Halloween costume. The poor boy turned into a skeleton. Anyways it’s a long story but he has always wanted revenge. And now he can get it.” Sophie understood perfectly. “By turning everyone what there wearing that night into there actual Halloween costume!” Maggie nodded, “Now since the gap between both our world and the mortal world isn’t to far he will perform this task tomorrow.” Ally groaned plopping down on the couch. “Now, now there's time, there's three of us and one of him. We just have to work quickly. I do remember the spell it goes, Make the mortals into the creature they precise, a life of what they pretend is what they receive!” She chanted. “Now all we have to do is REVERSE that. Make these mortals what they truly are, from what they dress as if very far!” She snapped her fingers with a smile, “Perfect! Now lets all try it together,” They each held hands in a circle and began to chant, “Make these mortals what they truly are, from what they dress as if very far!” They repeated it louder and louder for 3 times. Maggie clapped. “Great! Now about that Candy corn…”

The next day they all sat around the table brainstorming ideas. “Why are we doing this the mortal way it’s so slow!” She looked at them. “No offense. All I mean is we could use the crystal ball!” She bent over and rummaged around in her crocodile bag. “AHA! Here it is. She slammed a large ball on the table. “You may go now.” The bag pooped out legs and arms than walked itself back in the closet. Maggie began to whisper a few things than a loud notice began to come from it. Ally and Sophie jumped. “GRANDMA WHAT WAS THAT!” The screeched startled them. “Oh it’s just printed off some directions.” She smiled. “Im hipper than you think.” She snatched up the directions. “Now I think I have a few brooms kicking around.” She opened a wooden closet next to the steps. The closet was HUGE! It was as big as a shopping store, much larger than her bottom level of her home. “Take your pick.” The gazed at the shiny, wooden electric small and massive brooms. Sophie picked an original a wooden one with straw at the back. Ally picked the most high tech broom you would ever see. It was shiny and silver with metal where the wicker should be. “Good picks. Now let’s go we have to get to your world.” She closed the door behind them locking it swiftly. “But grandma you can’t...I mean you’ve never…are you sure?” Ally asked. “Yes Im sure! Now we have three tickets to the Halloween Ball.” Ally snorted. “Well never get tickets its old out by mid night on November 1st!” Maggie chuckled. She showed them three tickets handed both one. She shut the door to the old wooden home. It looked much like a horror cottage with falling shingles and cracked windows than a kind ladies home but she WAS a witch, it’s like the pumpkin heads that live in Giant pumpkins and Vampires who live the red velvet coffins. So they jumped on there brooms and soared to the giant pumpkin in town square. “Grandma we are going to miss the bus!” Ally noted glaring at the residents boarding the bus. “Now, now calm down.” She shook her head. “We need to go RIGHT to that Halloween Ball.” Maggie dialed in a few numbers and the Giant jack o lanterns eyes opened! “Alright than, to 4019 Lust Lane in the mortal world hey?” Sophie giggled. They never knew he talked. “What ya waiting for than get in!” he opened his mouth. The girl waddled on there brooms. Once they stepped in the were twirling downwards in orange and black swirls, “GRANMA WHAT'S HAPPENING!” Sophie yelled. “NOW GIRLS HOLD ON AND ENJOY IT WHERE NEARLY THERE!”Candy corn, gum and sugar coated candy filled the swirls tempting them to let go and grab a hold of themselves. Than slowly the color faded, the smell of sugar faded, and than they were outside of a Large hotel. “Were hereee.” Maggie sang springing her arms out nearly whacking a young couple with her broom. “Come on girl we don’t have long!” They handed there tickets over to a large man in black and entered the large booming room of people and mortal music. “Wow this place is rocking!” Ally shouted over the music. Maggie clasped the girls hands in her own and dragged them off towards the step to a higher level, looking down, probably where engineers fix the lights. “Now girls Arnie will be a skeleton, just a plain skeleton. When the clock strikes midnight the spell will be done forever.” Sophie was tugging on her Grandmothers shirt. “Not now Sophie!” she snapped. “But grandma look!” she pointed to a skeleton on the roof rail. They ran up the steps, it was 11:58. “Not so fast Arnie.” He jumped around clutching the book tightly to himself. “Back off Maggie this has nothing to do with you, I’ve been waiting for this all my life, and thanks to your granddaughters it will finally come true.” He laughed evilly. “Not if we can help it!’ Maggie said running up the steps. He pointed a finger at her. “Boil and Bubble make this witched fall to stop her trouble!” Maggie thumped; Ally and Sophie rushed to her side. “Are you okay grandma!” Arnie didn’t seem to care, it was 11:59 there was 30 seconds left, he began the rehearse the poem. “You girls have to try, hurry!” She weakly told them. They held hands and ignored Arnie rehearsing his own poem. “Make these mortals what they truly are, from what they dress as if very far!” they shouted 3 times colors twirling around the crowd. Than the clocks arm struck 12:00 a.m. They looked down, “OH NO!” Sophie shouted. The crowd had turned into all different things, goblins, lolly pops, lemons and cheerleaders were amongst them/ Maggie than remembered. Slowly rising to her feet she joined the girl at the rails, “Evil, sweet, sour and girly.” She laughed. “They turned into what they really ARE and what they look is very far. Do you get it? Lemons are the sour people, lollypops the sweet mortals.” She sighed and shrugged. “It’s what they deserve.” Ally pushed her eyebrows together. “Is there any spell to reverse it?” Maggie shook her head, they are what they are. Arnie hadn’t changed a bit, they noticed as they looked to the left. “Why isn’t Arnie different?” Sophie asked. “Well he has no heart, his a skeleton!” The girls laughed. It was almost like living in there own Halloween town the rest of the year, it wasn’t the same without Maggie but it was funny watching the lemon’s waddle around and the girl girls having to cheer very single moment. So they didn’t ‘Save the day’ but they came close!

Is This A good Halloween Story?ballet

I think its a fine story but I think if you made it you took the story from the Disney movie "Halloweentown",you also didn't make sense why they would need to go to the Dentist's office they didn't need any tooth at all?? another reason you stole it from the movie since in the movie they needed a Vampire's tooth to help save Halloweentown from the evil warlock Callabar they needed ingredients to give this light power, you have some of the same names of the characters like Maggie (the grandma) Sophie(the youngest) there was no Ally but there was a Marnie(oldest) and there was another sibling I can't think of his name but it was a boy (middle child) other than that I didn't read the whole thing but I could care less since you stole it anyway! Sorry I just realized you said it was from Halloweentown! but either way why make a story from it anyway if you are going to be a writer then why can't you think of stories yourself or are you just too lazy? good story but I don't like reading things that I already have heard of before but you do need to make more sense THEY DIDN'T NEED TO GO TO THE DENTISTS 4 ANYTHING!

Is This A good Halloween Story?globe theater opera theaterOk then you don't need to harass me and call me names! Report It


Getting off topic,

isn't there a character limit?

how did you do that?? the limit is 1000 characters
You need to review that line by line. There are several instances of using "to" where it should be "too", "there" instead of "their", and there are missing punctuation marks, new sentences started where a comma should've been used instead, and lots of other little mishaps. IF you are reading the story, those things detract from it in a big way.

EDIT- oh, and I just saw a "than" where it should be "then".
well i liked it but it was kind of coping the halloweentown movie. but you could do it as a kids story since it is not as long as big books and the little kids have never just read the book halloweentown before.
http://members.aol.com/h777888999/hallow...
this is like a whole book on yahoo answer
too lazy to even read all of that sry no question to answeer